Latest Tweets:
It’s not your fault. I don’t ever ask for room, but I also don’t say I want it to overflow. You do this everyday and though I’ve never told you before, I feel like I shouldn’t have to. I have these small spots on my hand, small burns from the coffee spilling over. I can’t imagine you do this to everyone, although maybe not many customers order a tall black coffee with no room for cream. Maybe you aren’t used to a man drinking his coffee as tall and as black as I drink mine, or maybe your tall pour is a compliment on my manhood and a reflection of how you feel about me.
I really appreciate it.
That is, your thinking that I’m a pretty tough guy.
I’m sorry for the criticism, it’s just that I’ve been coming into T-Beans & Room 4 Kream everyday for the past three and a half years and it’s always the same.
You probably don’t know that you’re my best friend either. You’re my best friend and you still can’t figure out how I like my coffee, and you don’t compliment me much anymore either, and you’ve never asked me for my phone number, and you always spell my last name with a lowercase T after the C. It used to be that you would draw a smiley face or a couple of exclamation points after my name, but this seems to have stopped happening in the last few months.
I’m sorry to take this all personally, but I can’t help feeling that it’s all my fault somehow. The tall coffee comes to 1.81 after tax and I normally slide my Two Dollar Bill across the counter, and after receiving the 19 cents I graciously place the change in your “tipping is not a place in china” cup. I mention this because I think that maybe the reason you’ve stopped with the smileys and exclamations is because of that one time 3 months ago when I asked to pay with a check and wasn’t able to give you the nineteen cents that you’ve become accustomed to. You probably don’t realize this…because if you don’t realize your over-filling of the coffee I can’t imagine you realizing this…this being that over the past three-and-a-half-years-minus-one-day-when-I-paid-via-check I’ve given you $173.18 in Nineteen Cent increments. A $173.18 bonus for overfilling a cup of black coffee everyday, that doesn’t seem so bad does it?
“What can I get you today”
“A tall black coffee with some room for cream please”
