Humpday has come and past, now it’s Thursday and I’m glad Friday is quickly approaching. The news says that today marks the first day that Tiger Woods has seen the sun in nearly 15 years. My 14 year-old very-late-in-life baby sister has no idea who Tiger is.
“He used to be a golfer.”
“Then what?”
“He cheated on his wife with a bunch of women.”
“Was the sun hiding from him? or he from the sun?”
I remember, when it all went down, how everyday on the news it was “Tiger Woods has yet to come out of his home, no apologies, no excuses…not even a public appearance.” This went on for weeks. People began to worry. Then, one day, everybody forgot.
A lot has changed in 15 years. I’ve started to see the signs of aging. There’s the crows feet and the sun spots, and the more-than-random grey hairs, and my tits are getting saggy, although not pancakey which I’m grateful for. I’d give the world to be a 15 year old girl again without care in the world, and perfect skin, and with no clue who Tiger Woods is.
There were many moments in the past 15 years where I thought about ending my life. The world quickly forgot about their Knight In Nike Armor, but I hadn’t. I was constantly reminded that a man with so much power and money, and friends, and fame, and good looks didn’t feel comfortable showing his face, and if he didn’t feel comfortable being seen, and if he couldn’t get over the trivial problems of his pefect life, how could I ever get over mine?
I can count over 10 fourteen year old girls who know who I am, and the same10 have no idea who Tiger Woods is. That’s 10 people that would think I was more important than Tiger.
“Quick, come here!”
“What’s happening?”
“That Golfer guy you told me about, look what he’s doing!”
“Oh God, no.”
It takes a real athlete to beat themselves to death with a vintage, wooden Jack Nicholas driver while tv crews stand outside the locked gates of your multi-million dollar mansion, unable to do a thing.
15 years ago the world lost Tiger, and now 15 years later, we lost him again.
“I guess the sun was hiding from him. He found it and it killed him.”
